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THE WEDDING SOCIAL MEDIA RULES ALL BRIDES NEED TO KNOW

From the engagement ring picture and hen party, to your wedding day and beyond.

July 3, 2019

As the bride, navigating the grey areas of social media at your own wedding is not exactly straightforward says Tatler magazine in a recent article.  However, the social bible says by following these social media guidelines surrounding matrimony coverage and you’ll avoid committing any big day faux-pas and, most importantly, prevent annoying people.

MELISSA PENFOLD WEDDING ETIQUETTE 2019

There is nothing worse than a bride walking towards a sea of phone screens, so decide in advance and make sure your minister or officiant for outdoor weddings announces this before the ceremony begins. Kate Moss’s 2011 wedding, shot by Mario Testino.

Your Engagement Post

Where our wedding posts are born. ‘The Engagement Post’ is normally a taste of things to come. A single close-up photo of the rock? Avoid! It looks too smug and braggy and most importantly, will leave followers wondering who you got engaged to.

We also suggest not posting a ring slideshow, everyone will see how long that took.

Instead, stick to announcing your news with a picture of the two of you, your ring finger showing off your new favourite piece of jewellery (well, we hope) and a cute, fun caption or hashtag, #ISaidYes doesn’t count because of course you did or you wouldn’t be posting about it. Oh, and make sure you thank your well-wishes, the love will start pouring in no time and it’s good manners to acknowledge everyone.

MELISSA PENFOLD WEDDING ETIQUETTE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE ENGAGEMENT

‘The Engagement Post’ is normally a taste of things to come. Stick to announcing your news with a picture of the two of you, your ring finger showing off your new favourite piece of jewellery such as The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s official engagement photo, by Mario Testino.

The Wedding Planning

Sorry to be frank but no one wants to see a weekly or monthly wedding countdown, in the same one no one cares about your running route at 6am on a Saturday morning. Keep it in your head, yes, that means private.

And on the subject of exercise, your wedding workout regime doesn’t need to be shared. Every. Single. Day. Yes, we can see you’re training really, really hard to look your best but why not let that be a surprise for us all on the day when we see you looking hawt in your dress? What is considered OK are subtle previews, maybe a shot of the venue or a sample of the food when you’re at your tastings. Read more, Yes You Can! Plan A Wedding For Less (And No-One Would Know).’

Try not to give too much away and remember, no one cares about your wedding as much as you do so keep it brief, we don’t need an essay of details.

MELISSA PENFOLD WEDDING ETIQUETTE 2019 REPORT

On your wedding day, social media probably isn’t going to be the top of the list. Kate Moss’s 2011 wedding, by Mario Testino for Vogue.

Your Hen Do

This is probably going to be a riot of fun, glitter, and alcohol and there will be a whole load of photos so keep an eye on what’s being uploaded. It’s likely you’re all going to have mutual friends and if everyone in the group is sharing the same photos, there is going to be an overload. It’s good to remember that not everyone wants to see countless pictures and videos of you all in fancy dress singing Bieber on repeat so keep the majority of the hen content on the WhatsApp group. Read more, ‘An Entertaining Plan To Maximise Mingling.’

MELISSA PENFOLD 2019 WEDDING EITQUETTE

While there will be a whole load of photos at your hen’s do, keep an eye on what’s being uploaded. Image via Tatler.com

Your Wedding Day

On your wedding day, social media probably isn’t going to be the top of the list. And if it is, we suggest it isn’t. You’re not going to have this much attention in a long time so make the most of the day, be present. Instead, save looking at your guest uploads until the following morning, when you wake up with a fuzzy head, hungover and slightly emotional. If you’ve chosen a wedding hashtag, don’t be the first one to post it – this is a task for one of your bridesmaids.

KATE MOSS MELISSA PENFOLD WEDDING ETIQEUTTE 2019

Kate Moss’s 2011 wedding, shot by Mario Testino for Vogue

Be clear about whether you’re happy to have guests take photos and upload content of your wedding on the same day.

If you’re getting married in a church, most guests will feel less at ease about getting their phones out when you’re walking down the aisle but the same doesn’t necessarily apply to a wedding outdoors or in a private venue (and there is nothing worse than a bride walking towards a sea of screens) so decide in advance and make sure your minister or officiant announces this before the ceremony begins.

Kate Moss’s 2011 wedding, by Mario Testino for Vogue.

Your Honeymoon

So you’re off to somewhere exotic and beautiful and want to tell the world! This is totally fine, but to prevent honeymoon spamming, give yourself a limit, ideally no more than one picture post a day on Instagram and Facebook (even that’s a lot), and keep your Insta Stories to a minimum, having 30 small lines of stories isn’t cool. You can make us jealous, that’s fine, but there’s a way to do it and providing commentary on every moment, meal, cocktail, dolphin, boat trip, sunset, cruise and swan-shaped towel isn’t it.

Share some, hold some back for your nearest and dearest and the rest, keep as memories for the two of you.

To prevent honeymoon spamming, give yourself a limit, ideally no more than one picture post a day on Instagram and Facebook (even that’s a lot). Photographed by Arthur Elgort, Vogue.

Life After Your Wedding

It’s all very tempting to look back on your big day and want to relive it, especially since it will fly by but we beg you not to share new pictures every week for a year, particularly when the professional snaps come back.

We suggest posting no more than a selection of your five best on Instagram, even when you reach a new #NineWeekAnniversary! Remember, we all know you looked gorgeous and we are so pleased you had a wonderful day but sharing a new photo, no matter how hard you try to make it funny, is, quite frankly, wedding spam.

MELISSA PENFOLD WEDDING ETIQUETTE STORY 2019

The wedding of Charlotte Casiraghi and Dimitri Rassam. Photo by Félix Dol-Maillot

Get them printed, put them in an album and share the odd one on your actual anniversary (not the date you met, or any other non-anniversary, anniversary).

Oh, and every time one of your bridesmaids has a birthday, it’s not an opportunity to post a picture of you in your wedding dress with her pictured being a dutiful maid. Got it? *Lead image via @pernilleteisbaek Instagram of the Scandinavian stylists wedding. 

MELISSA PENFOLD WEDDING ETIQUETTE IMAGE VOGUE.COM

Kylie Gattinella and Alexander van Hoek’s Wedding at La Posta Vecchia. Image via Vogue.com

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